25 February 2010

The Knight In Shining Armour


Conservative councillor John Haken of Simmondley is all charm.

In his regular letter to the Buxton Advertiser, this week he attacks the LibDem PPC Alistair Stevens because he dared criticise Labour's Caitlin Bisknell.  Cllr Haken calls this 'grandiose arrogance'.

Chivalrously, the gallant Cllr Haken springs to the immediate defence of the damsel in distress:
"Whilst in my opinion she is plodding and ineffective, I have never doubted her principles."

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23 February 2010

Reddish Conservative Club



High Peak Transparency is gratified by the number of emails received since emerging from the pre-election hibernation.  One, however, was not so welcome.  It arrived shortly after 09:42 on 23 February 2010:
"Dear BT Customer:

We've noticed that there has been some unsuccessful login attempt to your BT email account

After three unsuccessful attempts to access your email, your email Profile has been suspended. This has been done to secure your email account and to protect your private information. BT is committed to making sure that your information are secure.

To unlock your email profile, and verify your email identity please follow this link and sign in"
The email then presented a sign-in box, to give the password details.  It purported on screen to be http://www.bt.com/email/login.  But the link to which the password was to be sent was in fact a different address, covered up by the above alias.

On digging into 'properties' of the email, the sender of the email was established as belonging to someone at a local Conservative Club.  The actual email address, hidden behind 'BT Online' in the email's header, is reddishcons.club@btconnect.com

George Agdgdgwngo, Fonejacker's perrenial seeker of personal passwords and bank account details pictured above, appears to have a relative at Reddish Conservative Club.

19 February 2010

Form Guide


With the election only a matter of weeks away, High Peak Transparency now presents the definitive early guide.  We're on cliche watch so haven't said 'runners and riders'.

Political analysts suggest that boundary changes benefit Labour in this constituency. This is because it is rural villages that have been lost from the calculations.  However, common sense suggests that general outrage over some of the things Labour has been up to will have the opposite effect.

High Peak is Number 44 on the the Tories' list of nationally targeted seats. That's in the top 7%.  However, targeting something does not automatically mean you are going to get it.

To save time dealing with the copious election material that will shortly be heading your way, please feel able to use our free all-purpose policy statement instead:
"The problem with the Germans/ Working Class/ Toffs/ Coloured People is that there are just too many of them."

There will be plenty of time for photographs later; in the meantime here are the pen portraits (in party alphabetical order):

Conservative:  Andrew Bingham

Wore a moustache that used to make him look like a snooker referee, but has now wisely lost it.  He didn't mislay the thing: presumably this move was part of the serious grooming for higher political office.  Hard working and backed by a very highly organised campaign, his party also hopes that he'll be the beneficiary of Labour's capacity to self-destruct.

Green: Peter Allen

Peter represents an astonishing about-turn in this party's historically dismal viewpoint.  He points out that “The Green Party believes that everyone has the right to an affordable and secure home.”  Crikey.  What next?  No more lentils?

Independent:  Ivan Bell (to be confirmed)

Local councillor Ivan would be a national treasure if he were known er... nationally.  He could start an argument in an empty house.  Promised to modify his behaviour after getting involved in a rumble with another politician.  Can also be very charming so hopefully 'Do you want some?' will not be the campaign slogan if he stands.

(Since this article 'Form Guide' was published, Cllr Ivan has emailed us a) confirming he won't be standing this time and b) offering a few home truths about political parties.  Unfortunately this is a family site so we are unable to pass them on.)

Labour:  Caitlin Bisknell

Was selected from a shortlist where males were prohibited from standing for democratic office.  That sounds so mad that we'll say it again.  A shortlist where males were prohibited from standing for democratic office. To her credit, she disagrees with that policy.  Will be confronted by exactly the same difficulties as Lynn Cardwell was (County Councillor candidate, a decent person who came bottom of the poll), as a result of the corrupt and dishonest activities of some individuals in the local Labour Party in New Mills.  Ian Huddlestone is the sole remaining person in elected public office for Labour from that time.

Liberal Democrat:  Alistair Stevens

Sports enthusiast and well-known local cricketing figure, appears to follow the Stuart Hall mould where football allegiance is concerned.  As in "No, I don't like football.  I support Man City."

Passionately against the whole way Iraq was handled, he sees good prospects for continuing to build on local LibDem recent successes.  Better transport, support for business and for hill farmers, and affordable housing feature on the list of things to be tackled urgently.

Alistair Stevens made the following statement in his first campaign interview: "I have strong principles and I act on them."

UK Independence Party:  Sylvia Hall

May inadvertantly be the death of Conservative Party hopes, by reducing their electoral share in this constituency.  Sylvia Hall actually says what a lot of Tories privately think, and this time they are able to vote for her.

And Finally:

It's all about transparency.  Because transparency leads to honesty.

18 February 2010

The Calm Before The Storm


Double dealing, dastardly deeds, murder...    No it's not New Mills councillors pre-2007, it's the new school play in the town.

The play is Treasure Island, adapted from Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novel.  Head of Drama at New Mills School Alison Barker got over the technical difficulty of there being too many girls for this pre-feminism text by simply using girls in some of the more unexpected roles.  'Bev Gunn', 'Lady' Trelawney, pirate-ettes and so on.  "It's genius" as Vince Noir puts it, in the Mighty Boosh.

A bit of good clean fun, just before the slanging, scare-mongering and general mud-slinging hoo-ha of the general election starts in the High Peak.